"We Are Because We Belong"

For the last couple weeks I have been getting occasional e-mails from my mom, urging me to go see the documentary "I Am." And like most things mom encourages me to do, she usually has a good reason behind it and usually ends up being right. So, Joe, Kylee and I went to see it at The Palm tonight in San Luis Obispo and after what had seemed like not a great day for all three of us, we ended the night feeling elated, sad yet hopeful, and inspired.

The documentary is a must-see. It questions: What is wrong with the world and what can we do about it? Clearly there is a poison beneath the surface of all the hate, wars, crime, anger, prejudice, etc. that pollutes our lives. What is the reason? The message the film emits is one of the innate unity of mankind with each other and with all elements and living creatures on the earth...that we become who we are because we are so dependent on others to learn to be human. That it is our nature cooperate and to belong, and when we turn against these natural inclinations and focus on ourselves as independent individuals rather than the oneness and connection that all living things share...we create this discord and disharmony that triggers fear, hatred, and the illusion that we are different from one another.

The segment in the film that struck me the most was the discussion about how humans are all wired to share a sense of sympathy. We cringe when we see others getting hurt, we can feel the pain that others feel through recognizing their suffering. And most of all we can feel the love that others feel. The image of a six year old boy running, crying, into the arms of his father who returned from Iraq to surprise his son made me choke up. My chest expanded, my throat got tight, and tears fell from the corners of my eyes and ran down my cheeks. And as I experienced this connection of love that was outside of my own reality, but a sympathetic connection to another's...the narrator described the exact physical feeling that I was simultaneously feeling. How can we not be connected spiritually, emotionally, and physically with each other and with other living species? Why do we as humans focus so heavily on our individual successes or possessions? Those individual parts of life really don't matter, yet we are taught that those successes we achieve independently make us superior. What a silly concept, when we would be nothing without our dependence on and connection with other humans, plants, animals, etc.

My natural inclinations are towards understanding, love, acceptance, and inclusion. And although I certainly don't always follow through on what I believe to be the best image of my truest self, I have always been an idealistic, and emotionally-conscious person. It is nice to be reminded from time to time, even if just from a documentary, that without love, oneness, and respect for every living part of this world, we are nothing. We have to belong.

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."

Our yoga practice today was centered around gratitude, and not just gratitude for the blessings of our lives, but for the opportunity to struggle, to be challenged, to feel and overcome difficulties. As the sweat dripped off our noses as we twisted, stretched, and balanced precariously in the Strong Vinyasa class, my instructor said: aren't you grateful for the chance to feel that incredible burning sensation in your quads? And we chuckled (while trying to breathe,) but he was right. Living with grace is not just about the good moments, when everything aligns and feels right; it is also about living the challenges, the pain, and the uncertainty and being grateful to have those experiences, even if they're not what you want. I think about the anger or distress I have felt during particular times in my life whether with school, work, relationships, or anything really, and recognize that those difficult times were blessings. It is those challenges that have given me the opportunity to find strength and courage, and be able to apply it to future issues. I think about times of uncertainty or confusion, and recognize my gratitude for life not always being clear or planned out...or I would have missed out on the delicious feeling of finding my way through the fog. So as I utter words about such gratitude that I am trying to find in every instance, I will strive to instead just live with a daily sense of grace.

"All I can say about life is, Oh God, enjoy it!"

I recently left a job that I had held for over a year and a half, that paid my bills and more without working more than twenty hours a week. I realized over time that I was not happy there, that I loved my co-workers like my family, but it was no longer worth the late hours, the stress, and the feeling that I was no longer learning or growing in my position. Now I wake up for work often at 5:00 a.m., and I work forty hours a week for quite a bit less than what I was making previously. But I am so content with my new lifestyle. Nothing is worth more than making a change for better mental health and for my own happiness. Now I practice yoga more regularly, I've started running again, I cook most evenings, and I have time to spend outside and with friends. Sure, I'm making less money, but in the long run is that what really matters? This is my life. I plan to live it with intention, every single day. I'm so grateful I had the courage to leave a comfortable lifestyle for one that makes me happier. In the end, these beautiful days of doing what gives my life meaning, what causes my heart to beat faster, and what makes me feel more myself, is what I will remember.